This is from the winner of a "scientific" theory paper writing contest, the paper is entitled "Perpetual Motion".
When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands buttered side down. Therefore, if a slice of toast is strapped
to a cat's back, buttered side up, and the animal is then dropped, the two opposing forces will cause it to hover, spinning inches above the ground. If enough toast-laden felines were used, they could form the basis of a high-speed monorail system.
At last! A solution to one of Seattle's ongoing transportation battles!
Just so long as no one alerts the SPCA...